Naked man and a sunset cruise
We had a late start on Wednesday. First thing we booked our times for parasailing and the Baja ATV rides. We started walking to town and realized we also had to book our couples massage. We walked back to the concierge and had him book our massages for that afternoon.
To kill time we walked downtown and shopped for souvenirs. I found a cool metal sculpture of a dorado twer hat I’m going to buy before we leave. Elise wants to buy some silver jewelry. I don’t understand women and their jewelry.
We had to make a mad dash back to Pueblo Bonito Rose to catch the shuttle to Sunset Beach for our massages. We were six minutes late. We took a cab and made it to Sunset beach at 2:30. We walked to the spa were we uppitidly greeted by the spa staff. You like that word, uppitidly, don’t you? Go ahead, use it at your disposal.
Elise and were separated – she went to the women’s lounge, I went to the men’s lounge. We both had half an hour to kill. I asked the men’s lounge attendant what I was supposed to do. He gave me a key, pointed me to my locker and told me to put on my robe. I did as instructed. I found Mr. Attendant again and asked him what I was supposed to do next. He escorted me to the showers. I took a Swiss shower with some soothing hair and body soap at a temperature that is supposed to stimulate circulation. In man terms: A really hot shower with girly soap.
After my shower I found a buffet of assorted waters. Available were cucumber and mint water, lemon water, hibiscus tea and chlorophyll water. I opted for the chlorophyll because I thought it would be cool to drink a lot of it to see if my skin would turn green.
I didn’t turn green.
I asked Mr. Attendant what I was supposed to do next. He looked at the clock and told me that I had 15 minutes left before my message. He walked away. It was up to yours truly to figure out what to do for 15 minutes to kill time in this unknown territory. I walked into the “steam room”. I walked into a dark room of 140-degree humidity and smelled of mint and eucalyptus. My sinuses immediately cleared as did my head of any cognitive thinking. I was at one with the steam. I thought of mountain lions ravaging midgets in a bowling alley. I thought of Smurfs on skewers. I thought of extension cords with busy dinner dates. I had attained the Zen-like panoramic vision. I almost passed out.
I walked out of the steam room and chugged a couple glasses of chlorophyll. I then found the rain shower. I cleaned the sweat and humidity from my skin. I walked out of the shower to find that I had no robe. At first I thought it was the extension cords who took it. They’re deviant bastards. Later I found out that Mr. Attendant stole it. He gave me another robe and took me to the spa lobby where I met Elise and our massagers (that’s French for “people who lube your skin and rub their hands all over your body” – or English for: I can’t spell the plural form of massagers because I’m in Cabo San Lucas and don’t have Dictionary.com at my disposal)
We were elegantly escorted to our massage room via a tea light-lit hallway. We were both recipients of a 50-minute Swedish massage complete with New Age music piped through the spa. It was very relaxing. All of the doors read, “Silence beyond this point”. That was hard for Elise. I immediately adapted and indulged in the ambiance. Our massages were fantastic. The ladies spoke very softly and calmly when they instructed us to turn over, take deep breaths or to not fart so much.
Our massages ended too soon. Our massagers left the room after instructing us to put our robes on. We were again escorted to our respective lounges. Elise showered and pampered herself. I was stuck in the lounge with three workers who had turned the water off to work on the showers. I put my clothes back on and walked back out to the lobby with my skin and body hair glistening of massage lube.
I was the sticky guy for the rest of the day.
We didn’t have time to take a cab back to the Blanco for me to shower to we rode straight from Sunset Beach to the marina for our Sunset Cruise. We forgot our voucher so we waited in line to see if our name was on the list. Our names weren’t on the list so we had to pay cash for the cruise. We were told that we could bring our voucher back the next day and get our cash back.
We left the dock a little before 6 p.m. and headed north along the Pacific coast. Everyone took snapshots of the arch and Lovers Beach. We toured around the Pacific and Cortez side of Cabo. We just rode around – all 50 of us. We were served a fajita buffet with all the extras. I spent most of the trip downstairs, next to the grill and bar. I was shortly met by Judas. Judas is a 73-year-old San Salvadorian of Mexican-Italian descent who lives south of San Francisco with his wife Ria who is from Holland. We all immediately befriended one another. Judas and I had an existential conversation about Lance Armstrong’s contribution to the sport of cycling and humanitarianism. We really clicked with Judas and Ria - they’re like the El Salvadorian/Mexican/Italian/Dutch parents that we’ve never had. We were invited to visit them at their home in El Salvador. We’re going next year.
After the cruise Judas and Ria drove us back to our hotel in their car. We invited them to the fiesta at Blanco. After an hour or so Elise and I had to call it a night as we had to wake up 5 a.m. the next morning for our fishing trip.
